Yet More Navel Gazing

2008 in Review

2008-12-31T13:31:00.000-08:00

IRL buddy and Facebook mate, Laura, came up with this. IMHO, it counts a blogging meme and a great way to close out the year.

What I liked about 2008

1) Finding our local homeschool 'home' with JFH and getting to know some incredible women including LCD, Elizabeth, Rachel, Laura L, and Sarah.

2) Finding some new statewide friends (Kim and yet *another* Laura) to dive into creating SHEAF with.

3) Getting some medical stuff fixed

4) My 40th birthday present (which came early)

5) Twilight....thank you Stephanie Meyer! and True Blood (vamps for the grownups) Thanks to Elizabeth L. for showing me the light

6) The Obama election..campaigning on the streets of JAX was a life changing experience for me. Not only am I glad he was elected but being part of the process was incredible.

7) Facebook (thanks to Kim H.) How did I ever survive before? What did I do with all my time??? The ability to find and connect with people past and present is amazing and a real gift to be able to part of the day to day lives of my friends. Also the ease with which I can find new people to argue with (like Aaron Caton!)

8) Yumi's visit to us this summer, complete with trips to Tampa and Atlanta....she's forever a part of our family.

9) Improv classes...cheaper than therapy and lots more fun

10) Rediscovering the joy that my family brings me...again and again.

What wasn't so hot about 2008

1) Medical issues that had to be fixed.

2) Brian travelled for work...lots!

3) Being so far away from my BFF...you know who you are!

4) Multiple hard drive failures with old and new computers in the early part of December

5) Trying to balance too many balls and occasionally dropping the most important one (family)

Communist Cookies

2008-12-12T18:41:00.000-08:00

I'm taking part (slightly later due to hard drive issues) with a virtual cookie exchange. Check over at Another Suburban Mom for a list of all participants.

I've chosen my infamous Commie Cookies. Back in the summer of 2004, the presidential candidate wives released their cookie recipes. I believe Laura Bush's was some dried cherry/chocolate chip/oatmeal concoction. Teresa Kerry, who later disavowed her cookie recipe, submitted pumpkin spice cookies. As part of our annual 4th of July party, I made both and people had to vote which cookie was better.

My dad, who was to the right of Atilla the Hun, loved these cookies (and I've modified the recipe from the original)...until he found out they were Kerry cookies. With as much vocal outrage that a man without a voicebox could muster he declared them communist cookies.

The name stuck and we make them every fall instead of pumpkin pie.

Communist Cookies

Ingredients:

1 C (2 sticks) butter - use the real stuff please!
1 C Sugar
1 egg
1 can pumpkin puree (not the pie filling!)
1 tsp vanilla
2 1/3 C all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1 C toasted walnuts chopped

1) Set oven to 375 and coat baking sheets with non stick spray

2) Cream sugar and butter. Then beat in the egg, pumpkin, and vanilla

3) Mix flour, baking powder, salt and pumpkin spice. Then put the flour mixture in with the pumpkin mixture (do this in batches to ensure its well mixed)

4) Drop batter in teaspoon fulls (or whatever size you want) onto baking sheets. Bake for 10-15 minutes (check at 10 minutes) The cookies aren't quite solid on top when done but are firm on the bottom. And a touch of golden goodness on the edges is also a good sign.

These make *soft* cookies!

Brrr..its cold

2008-11-25T18:04:00.000-08:00

NOT!

Well, at least compared to most of North America its not cold.

Today No.2 had his preschool Thanksgiving program today and after we got home from that we decided to ride our bikes 2 miles up to the clubhouse for lunch...and then ride them back. The big decision? To wear jackets or not...we decided 'not' It was the right call.

Much as I complain about living here in South Georgia, its very nice weather.

Post Election Blahs

2008-11-24T18:21:00.000-08:00

After canvassing my rear off, the election ended. My guy won but I've been bumbed anyway...no polls, no obsessive checking as to what the talking heads are saying...what's left?

FACEBOOK BABY!!!

Totally addicted to every stupid little game (especially the geography one).

Number Two son has changed his name to Luke Skywalker and thought his preschool teacher wanted to marry him

Number One son is making three trips a week to the library to get books (hooray!) and has a cold (boo)

Things are good!

Things

2008-10-27T05:17:00.000-07:00

Why do I always compose blog posts in the HTML view?
Am I an unschooler or eclectic?
MIL is worried we're not Jewish enough. DH is worried that we're too Jewish. Must be doing something right.
I've not been able to sit and focus on one activity lately which is very unusual for me.
I still owe Yumi a video because the computer with the videos can't seem to get online for me to mail them.
I always find it strange when someone assumes I'm a right wing conservative. I don't know how anyone who has spoken to me more than 5 minutes could think that.
I firmly believe there is a greater incidence of mental illness in non-religious homeschool families.
I told the last caller from the Obama campaign that we'd already voted; don't worry and stop calling! (1 call from Idaho, 2 calls from California, 1 robocall from Hilary Clinton, and 2 live ones from a local office)
Got one call from a family friend wanting to make sure we were voting for McCain. That was awkward.
My older son heard the n-word for the first time (he's 9) during this campaign....from a grandma looking person.
I'm on a mixed nuts kick.

Stories from Canvassing for Obama this Weekend

2008-10-20T05:19:00.000-07:00

I spent a good part of Saturday and Sunday wandering around the Westside, clipboard and list in hand, knocking on doors for Senator Obama. I saw a part of America that I knew existed in the abstract but encountering was something else.

S. was my first walking partner. Retired, he's been a regular volunteer at the campaign headquarters. His son just went back to Iraq for the third time. S. is scared and angry. A Vietnam vet, he's angry that its been three times and if McCain wins, many more times after that. His son's daughter is stressed and crying all the time.

People are very worried their votes won't count (I live in Florida). Several people asked what we were doing to make sure their votes don't get thrown out. They don't trust their government. They think we're a banana republic.

Noticed a man hauling lots of garbage outside of a townhome. I stopped to ask him if he was renovating and he said, "The bank hires me to clean out houses." Jose* currently works 7 days a week. The hardest part? Packing up the kids' rooms during an eviction. Jose told me about the crying and begging from families who have no place to go. He's hoping Obama wins because right now his job is 'hurting his heart' so much.

My final story will be about a man who works for the local utility. In his mid 30's, Tim has been working at his job for 3 years. Him and his wife bought their home 2 years ago. It has always been that people do NOT get laid off from this company...they just let go almost 300 people last week. Given his lack of seniority, Tim is very concerned that he'll be in the next wave of layoffs which are expected to come some time between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Our investments have taken a hit...but Bri's job is secure and we'll be OK even if McCain gets elected. But this weekend brought home to me how many people have day to day lives that depend on the outcome of this election.

If you support Senator Obama, volunteer. We need to do more than just vote in this election, especially if you live in a swing state. And if they offer you the opportunity to go out canvassing? Take it. Meeting people and hearing their stories can really give you an idea how important this election is.

* Names have been changed to protect privacy but the stories are true

Been making...

2008-10-03T15:37:00.001-07:00

jewelry.

It's to help me cope with the massive guilt due to my role in the current financial crisis.

This is my very first piece...using beads on closeout at AC Moore.

The second piece is a necklace I made using some lovely beads given to me by my instructor.

I've also made a matching necklace and bracelet for my friend's August birthday. Should have taken pictures of them..oh well.

I have a friend that makes BEAUTIFUL jewelry. Her eye for color is always going to be superior to mine..but I like doing it too.

If you're against the bailout you're an idiot!

2008-09-29T13:58:00.001-07:00

There I said something judgmental.

Don't act so suprised ;) If you don't know about the details, go read some at WSJ or NYTimes. You don't get to have an opinion if you don't know what the bill is for.

My congressman, Cliff Stearns, voted against the bailout today. Why? According to the republican beauty queen who answered the phone it was because Congressman Stearns 'doesn't want the government to be in the banking business." If the government had paid more attention and been 'more in the banking business' we wouldn't be in this mess today. As it said in the New York Times:

After long favoring a hands-off approach and deregulation of the financial industry, the Bush administration has found itself in recent weeks interceding repeatedly in the private market to try to avert one calamity after another.

The bill would have opened up 350 billion dollars so that the treasury could start buying up some of the horrid foul MBS that are blocking up the credit systems. The republicans got their insure the securities idea (in spite of its cost to taxpayers) in there and got rid of much of the Main Street protections (Allowing bankruptcy judges to restructure mortgages in their courts). Executive pay was going to be capped (a concession from the administration)

Very few Republicans voted for it. Representative Darrell Issa, a Republican, said he was “resolute” in his opposition to the measure because it would betray party principles and amount to “a coffin on top of Ronald Reagan’s coffin.”

Party Principles?!? What about what's best for the American people? And who the hell cares what Ronald Reagan would think about this?

My representative voted against it because he's opposed the government fixing the mess its caused. Congressman Stearns either doesn't understand how serious this is or his worried that his constituents will view it as Wall Street welfare. Either way, he needs to man up and pass this poo sandwich.

We all have to take a bite...for years we've been so caught up in the culture wars (gay marriage, abortion, prayer in the schools) instead of how both parties have been allowing greed to go unchecked. Instead of looking for smart people to run our government we care more about their hair, what sports their kids play, and how often they go to church.

Look how well its paid off!

It's All My Fault!

2008-09-28T12:53:00.000-07:00

This financial bust thing? Maybe its not all my fault but I played a role in it.

Back when I was a grown up, I worked for prestigious financial news company. The first project I was on involved creating a database that allowed large commercial investment banks to track and package mortgage backed securities. The package was sold to Bear Stearns and Lehman Bros. when I was there.

Did you catch that phrase, “mortgage backed securities” Good, I knew you would. The short version of how they work is that an investment bank would bundle a group of mortgages together, divide the pool into strips (for example: year 1 and so on) and then sell the strips to institutional investors (like CALPERS). Strips for more recent years were considered lower risk while ones out at the 25+ year mark were thought to be higher risk (people pay off the mortgage early or sell the house and move). The database I helped develop allowed the investment banks to track and bundle all sorts of mortgages (residential and commercial).

The government placed regulations on banking institutions during the Great Depression because of the numerous bank failures. Congress passed the Glass-Steagall Act that created the FDIC (the people that insure your bank deposits up to 100K) and created strict divisions on what different types of banks can do. The big change happened long after I left said company. In 1999, the bank restrictions were largely removed and one of the areas dramatically affected was that of the mortgage backed security industry. Commercial banks could now underwrite and trade debt obligation securities (like mortgages). That meant a whole lot more players in the mortgage backed securities pool.

Money flowed into the housing industry. Because mortgage brokers and smaller banks were no longer on the hook for 30 years, people who never could get a mortgage before were signing on the dotted line for no documentation, interest only mortgages. A real estate agent friend of mine had someone buy a $500K listing with $40K income! What bank thought the buyer had a hope in hell of paying it back? What did the bank care? The mortgage was going to get bundled with others and sold anyway. Commercial banks clamored for more mortgages and local banks provided.

Kaboom! It couldn’t last. With the rising costs of food and fuel combined with ARM’s coming due, people couldn’t pay. It didn't help that there are other debt oriented securities...but peoples lives don't fall apart the same way when they lose a car as opposed to their hosue.

Deregulation caused this, people! And my little database helped it along…..Next post: Why 700 billion really isn’t that much and how the US taxpayer may end up ahead.

Read This!

2008-09-13T05:21:00.000-07:00

Registering at the NYT is free and you need to read this.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/11/opinion/11Cohen.html

Kaizen

2008-09-13T05:05:00.001-07:00

Last night, DH and I watched No Reservations with Anthony Burdain (sp) who was in Tokyo. If you haven't seen the show, Anthony (a former head chef) goes around a city..sees the sights and eats local food.

So, when he's in Tokyo Anthony visits places like a soba noodle house where they make their own noodles...a knife maker...the ultimate sushi guy, and a flower arranger to learn about the Japanese way of doing things.

The common thread of all of these sites was the idea that in spite of precise attention to detail, none of these people felt they had mastered their trade even after 50 years of doing so. Soba noodle guy said that after 20 years of making noodles, he's still learning. Sushi man said that there is no such thing as the perfect sushi...there is always the way to make it better.

DH and I watched this show after our dinner out where DH told me about the 'Kaizen Events' at his manufacturing employer. They throw some engineers in a room for a few days..they think up some process improvements...and they go back to their jobs. Kaizen is about ongoing incremental improvement...not throwing out ideas.

Americans don't get the concept of Kaizen. The end result is not the goal. It's the journey to the unobtainable goal of perfection that is the focus. We, Americans, focus on getting it done and moving on....so we don't have the attention to detail because the process itself is unimportant. Our leaders; military, business, or educational, teach us to take the hill any way we want to.

I'm not sure one way is always better than the other...balance almost always leads to a better result. But the concept that the journey itself is valuable is a lesson I'm trying to learn (and teach to my children)

It seems excessive

2008-09-12T19:57:00.000-07:00

I was trying to free up some storage area on my phone tonight and came across a setting that told me how much time I've spent on my cell phone.

Incoming? 192 hrs

Outgoing? 75 hrs

It seems that people call me more than I call them...that's because I feel strange about calling people.

That's a lot of hours but I've had the phone for 3 years

Wii Hurt

2008-09-02T12:59:00.000-07:00

Doing our patriotic duty this weekend involved an impulse purchase of a Wii at Costco. Impulse purchases used to be cheaper (pack of gum) but this one was over $300. It had extra controllers and the packaged games were both ones we wanted...so it worked out.

The sports stuff is really fun...and I'm beat. Literally....lower back pain, right shoulder pain... I've been running but that only works the lower bits. Ben keeps kicking my rear at boxing but I can still take him out in tennis and baseball.

I bought more games (of course!) including Trauma Surgery...LOVE IT. We also got the crossbow shooter game which has unleashed a torrent of competitiveness in our household. Who knew people could get so worked up about killing the undead?

School Again..

2008-08-26T06:35:00.000-07:00

Well, we school year round but we use the fall to update some stuff

This year we're using history odyssey by Pandia Press We're using the Middle Ages version which I'm supplementing with the SCA's Known Worlde Handbook (Yes, I used to play)

Pandia Press is also the creator of our science program...not sure how closely we're going to follow that as we tend to drill into a subject a bit more.

Still using Time4Learning

And Ben is really reading to drill with some math facts but in a fun way. Yesterday he picked out all the dominos that added to 5 and we talked about them and how their number sentences would look. He just shuts down with flashcards

North East Florida Shows It's Behind Again!

2008-08-24T07:41:00.000-07:00

My hometown made the front page of the NYT today. There have been multiple public meetings about teaching real science (and not faith) in the public schools. The fundamentalist Christian's inability to separate fact and faith is endagering the education that Clay County (where Orange Park is) children receive.

The superintendent of Clay County schools has publically stated that believes in teaching ID. This is why I'm not comfortable with sending my son to the local public school...what else is going to be OK to teach? In history are they going to learn that the founding fathers were all Christians (in the modern Fundamentalist way)? That you're a bad person if you don't believe in Jesus?

I really see the beginnings of an American theocracy here and it scares me. The beliefs here, in spite of the flag pins and magnetic yellow ribbons on the back of SUV's, are horrifically unamerican.

The NYT article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/24/education/24evolution.html?hp

The local paper article where the Clay County Superintendent expresses scary and moronic opinions:

http://www.jacksonville.com/tu-online/stories/011708/met_237288652.shtml

Debby

The Unexamined Moral High Ground

2008-08-22T17:10:00.000-07:00

Fay has been a bad for me. Way too much time on the computer has led me to actually comment on blogs that I normally only read because I’m busy actually going out and doing things. Since everything has been cancelled for days…here I am!

One of my recent discoveries since moving to Florida is the belief among many Fundamentalist Christians that they automatically have the moral high ground. My good friend back in Chicago, who calls herself an evangelical Christian and rejects the descriptor ‘fundamentalist’, explained to me that FC’s are more interested in dominion and less in love. Just aren’t that many FC’s on the ground in Chicago either according to her so my exposure was limited to what I saw on TV. Being a Florida homeschooler has been an eye opening experience.

I’ve never been comfortable with the concept of total moral relativity. As my dad said, “You don’t want to be so open-minded that your brains fall out.” And, as I’ve aged and had children, I’ve become far more comfortable with saying, “Your position is wrong. It’s vile. And I don’t want it near my kids.”

Sooo…I was at a homeschool blog and commented and pointed out that I found her traditional FC position to be immoral. Later I thought about what happened the first time I said something similar to an FC in person and wondered if the blogger was having the same, “But I’m a Christian, how can I be immoral compared to you?” moment.

FC’s tend to be shocked when I say I find their position lacking in morality. And I think this is due, in part, to the lack of examination of their positions. FC’s assume the Bible is morally flawless and by following it they can do no wrong. That assumption itself is at BEST amoral because it means FC’s have decided to abandon any moral compass of their own. At worst? We end up with lovely events like the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, the Holocaust (Just following orders/Nazi ideals, sir!), and the Cultural Revolution. The unexamined moral high ground is a very dangerous place.

Following a poorly educated, dimwitted, charismatic man who prides himself on anti-intellectualism makes one less, not more.

Fay has a big back end

2008-08-22T11:41:00.000-07:00

No insult intended to any Fay's out there, but Tropical Storm Fay's backside is coming through right now. After a relatively calm morning the wind and rain are now picking up.

St. Augustine has had it the worst. When Yumi was visiting, we went down there and ate at a Mexican restaurant right across the street from the Castillo de San Marco. Today's paper had a photo of the restaurant, sand bags in front and a worried owner in the doorway.

Last night it was really bad around 1AM...flickering lights and crazy wind noise! Of course, DH and the boys slept right through it.

I'm bored...I want to go out and run...instead I'm spending way too much time on the computer :)

I noticed the IOC 'investigated' the Chinese 'womens' gymnatics team for all of 3 hours. Niiiice....I guess the rules don't matter if you're the host country. UK athletes should start doing steriods NOW!

Why I think the 2008 Olympics Failed

2008-08-19T18:50:00.000-07:00

It's like a bad relationship that you just can't let go....China and the West.

The western countries thought, in a very co-dependent way, that by giving China what it wanted (international recognition) that China would stop doing the bad things it does (human rights violations, anti-democracy)

As any drug/alcohol counselor will tell you, giving what s/he says s/he needs will not end the addiction or bad behavior.

And, in true co-depenent relationship, the west is whinging up a storm about how dishonest China has been.

Underage gymnasts?!? Say it isn't true!
They roughed up reporters who tried to cover the protests? Amazing...
China tried to suppress coverage of the murder of an american tourist? Color me surprised
China forced thousands of Chinese families from their homes to make the Olympic venues? Say it isn't so!

*insert eye roll*

Fay, Fay Go Away

2008-08-19T18:13:00.000-07:00

Jacksonville is getting ready for Fay to return to land Thursday AM as a Cat 1 hurricane. It's projected landfall is about 35 miles south of us, just north of St. Augustine.

We're ready! DH has water put aside, I have a pile of cash, cars are filled with gas and we have extra propane and canned goods. What I'm not ready for is the loss of power. In 2004 some of my friends lost power for 5 days. After 20 hours without power in the blistering summer heat I'm out of here.

So, one local store has put up hurricane barriers over its windows.

The God People are ready. The rest of the heathen stores (pet store, office supply store) are trusting in their insurance gods I guess.

:)

The Self Absorption Never Ends

2008-08-17T16:22:00.000-07:00

1) I forgot Simon's Birthday...I owe him

2) I got a headphone/microphone set for a naturalist class I'm taking. Downloaded some free software and did my first podcast.

Why I hate Homeschoolers

Yea me!

John Edwards...ugh

2008-08-14T12:57:00.000-07:00

I like the man, I really do. He is by far one of the best speakers about populist issues.

But ugh...

after coming down hard on President BusyPants several years ago, former Senator Edwards is now involved in his own "what your definition of 'is' is" moment.

I don't believe what he said in his ABC interview.

I don't think this was the first one.
I don't think it ended in 2006.
I don't think the paternity test offer was honest.

Let's add some facts up here:

He's claiming that he broke it off in 2006 but stories are now reporting that he was at least speaking with The Other Woman (TOW) on the phone in 2007. WHY?

Edwards admits he was in the hotel room in 2008, holding a baby that isn't his...and neglected to mention it to his wife. Why would someone go to visit a woman that was never loved (see the ABC interview) hold her BABY and not tell his wife? Maybe because John Edwards is the father...

Why would big donors put her, the baby, and the alleged father and his family up in luxurious houses? If the alleged father really is the dad, how would that reflect poorly on Edwards? Did TOW turn down the offer of a paternity test in order to keep her $3million freebie home?

John Edwards must think we're all stupid. More is going to come out...and he's going to be reduced to chasing ambulances.

Why Do I Have .....

2008-08-07T21:26:00.001-07:00

tentacles, my 4 year old boy asked this morning.

"Tentacles?" I replied. "You don't have tentacles."

"Yes, I do...right below my penis"

Ohhh....you mean testicles!

I gues some words sound too much alike for your average 4 year old.

Morgan Freeman Was In A Car Accident

2008-08-06T16:58:00.000-07:00

Award winning actor, Morgan Freeman who got his start on the PBS show, "Electric Company" was in a serious car accident the other day. With him was a younger woman who is a 'friend'. Today his attorney announced he is divorcing his wife of 20+ years....

Say it with me, fellow Gen X'rs...

Cr................ap

Crap!

:)

Rude Awakening

2008-07-27T16:56:00.000-07:00

Our former aupair, Yumi, is here for a visit. In spite of her jetlag (the flight from Japan is a long one) she has effortlessly fit back in.

And our Number 2 Son is in love. The kid is an extrovert in a family of introverts. We get tired of the constant interaction he needs....and now Yumi is here to fill that hole!

She makes videos of him, talks constantly with him, takes endless pictures of him...and hand feeds him!!!

She leaves next month...I'll miss her, its always nice to have another female to talk to other than our dog. But Josh is going to be heartbroken....and have to relearn how to feed himself.

Why I Drink

2008-07-21T14:32:00.000-07:00

Yeah, its been awhile. We went 'home' for vacation and it was a death march of obligation and guilt compounded by living in a hotel for a week.

The whole thing just depressed me so much (friends just not happy for us, not enough sun, and OMG family) that I spiralled for a while until I got a week off. Number One went to a day camp for a week out of town that I took him to while Number Two went to his local preschool full time for the week.

I was actually sans children for 5 days at 8 hours at a time. That's not happened in...well...ever. It was remarkable how it picked me up emotionally.

So...why do I drink? Tonight I was making dinner using a bottle of red wine..poured myself a glass to enjoy while I cooked. While my back was turned Josh asked me to peel him an orange (clementine really) and I told him to put it on the counter...

See where he put it?

Will he be a hero?

2008-05-15T14:34:00.000-07:00

Iraq has become more of a part of our day to day life since moving here to Jacksonville. Many in our local homeschooling community are military families who have fathers either already been overseas, are currently there, or are about to go. We even know of two families where the father has been killed in the last year. It’s become less abstract to us than it was before.

Number One Son takes classes at a local ‘edutainment’ facility that has a special program for homeschoolers. It also has these Friday night kid’s parties where the ‘fun counselors’ play with the kids and organize activities while parents go out on their own. Many of these counselors are young men who work there part-time. It’s something that really works for us. Our boys really look up to these guys.

One of Number One Son’s favorite counselors is joining the Marines…enlisted. The young man blithely talks about doing at least two tours in Iraq where he’ll gain enough experience so when he becomes an officer, he’ll be taken seriously. Listening to him talk with such hope makes me feel so very sad…how many of the 4000 dead American soldiers thought the same thing?

My son found out about it this week and thinks it’s the coolest thing since the Nick Hotel. The questions are getting to me: He’s going to be in a battle, do you think he’ll be a hero? Will he get to shoot people? What’s Iraq?

My problem is that many of the people in our immediate community have very different views of what the war in Iraq is. I want to be honest with my son that I think that the war in Iraq is horrible and that I don’t believe that the sacrifice being asked of our armed forces is making the world a better place. At the same time I have to understand that my son’s peers have fathers there.

How do I deal with the hero worship of something that I find disgusting?

Ask the Jihadist

2008-05-07T19:13:00.001-07:00

This was in a recent issue of The New Yorker.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2008/04/28/080428sh_shouts_borowitz

My favorite is the letter from Tiger Beat. Is that magazine even around still?

Secular Vs. Inclusive

2008-04-29T14:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, I’ve been gone for a while. I’d like to claim some sort of cosmic angst about not finding anything interesting enough to write about but that isn’t true. I’ve been spending much of my time getting a new group off of the ground.

Most responses (90%) are totally positive. Some of the other, more negative, responses have ranged from personal things (I was going to start a group like that!) to pedantic (Why secular and not inclusive? Do you hate Christians?)

I’m more fascinated with the latter negative responses as I think the former have more to do with personality disorders than actual thought. So I’d like to write a brief (HA!) post about inclusive vs. secular.

Secular according to the dictionary is simply an absence of religion. Secular is not pro-gay marriage, its not feminist, its not anti-God. It just means no religion. I will say that I think evolution might be part of a secular system due to its global acceptance by the world scientific community (now watch me get a bunch of ignorant morons telling me about some latest intelligent design insight!)

People here in Florida, even secular homeschoolers, seem to be enamored with the concept of inclusive. I’m baffled by it. Florida homeschoolers really seem to have the attitude that inclusive means that Christians (of the right wing variety) get to say whatever they want while atheists/non-Christians ‘respect’ Christian beliefs while avoiding topics such as evolution in order to not offend. I don’t feel that my worldview or homeschooling knowledge is advanced listening to a mom of seven extol the virtues of having a ‘quiverful’ of children that she keeps safe from the horrors of homosexuals by homeschooling.

The group I'm in is secular that means keep it at home. One person mentioned she didn’t like secular because she felt that meant she’d have to keep her spiritual side in check so she wouldn’t feel welcome. Has she ever thought that SHE made people uncomfortable by not keeping her spiritual side in check?

This post sounds really angry as I read over it. More than angry, I’m just bothered by the illogical nature of it. Secular homeschooling is what’s really inclusive. No one should be offended by being unable to talk about God for 50 minutes and instead having to focus on the actual process of homeschooling (flash cards or not kind of stuff)

Video for Yumi

2008-02-29T12:52:00.001-08:00

Hillary deserves my vote because she has a VAGINA!?!

2008-02-07T12:55:00.000-08:00

I'm very tired of the "you're a self-hating woman" stuff from Hill-ocrats.

I disagree with two of Hillary Clinton's policy points:

I disagree with her immigration policy. I believe illegal immigrants deserve a drivers license. I believe illegals having a drivers license would benefit all the drivers on the road!

This is liberal heresey...but I'm not a huge advocate of universal health care, especially the type she's suggesting. Tax credits aren't what's needed...tax credits don't begin to help the out of sight medical costs for the working poor and middle class. And it doesn't address the out of control medicine costs.

On the whole, most of their policies are VERY similar. There isn't a whole lot of issue based differences. So now it comes down to personality, character, and what vision I think each of them has.

Hillary Clinton is part of the problem...the status quo. She's claiming experience through her husband's administration. After that much time in a place I believe you stop being able to see how paradigms can be totally different. She things incremental change is the only way to go because she doesn't see DC as a place of change. I don't like that. The whole 'vote for me or the boogeyman will get you' stuff has been done to death by Dubya. And I'm done with that too.

I also don't like her whole "I have more experience than Obama" shtick. Barak Obama has held elected political office longer than her. Obama didn't have a presidential husband opening the doors for him in the early days of his legislative career.

It comes down to who I think has a vision of America that is going to be better for us all..my children...my children's children. And Hillary doesn't have that in spite of having a vagina just like me.

I'd rather be hated than used!

2008-02-04T12:20:00.000-08:00

is a very interesting post on how online, intellectual property can get hijacked...and how some people think that stealing is OK as long as they profit from it.

I'd Rather Be Hated Than Used

Hillary's Losing in Missouri and California

2008-02-04T11:26:00.000-08:00

So she cried again...waaaaaaa

I hate when women do this.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080204/ap_on_el_pr/clinton_reunion

The day before New Hampshire and the day before Super Tuesday...coincidence? I think not

Educational Resources #1

2008-02-02T08:15:00.000-08:00

After years of doing this, I've come across many different websites and I'm interested in sharing (and if you've got some please share) with a detailed description. These are the only posts that I'm going to label so they'll be easier to archive together. I'll discuss what I think the site/resource is good for so it's just not a simple link. Let's try to do this once a week ans see how it goes.

The innaugeral issue will feature webquests and a great place to find them (and make them!). Webquests are, in short, online lesson plans. Instructors can use already existing code (or program their own website) and gather Internet resources about a particular topic.

Here's one I did for a technology in education class about the Chicago Fire:

Debby's Chicago Fire Webquest

They cover every topic imaginable and every level. I've found some great ones about place value, multiplication, Iraq, and the upcoming presidential election.

One of the best sites to find existing webquests is webquest.org A quick google search can bring up more sites.

If you want to *create* your own, I'd look at www.questgarden.com For a small fee, you can have access to their WYSIWYG editor to create your own webquests. There are also more webquests available than are on webgarden.org.

Think of webquests as online lapbooks :)

Can't Beat 'em? Buy Them!

2008-02-01T08:09:00.001-08:00

Microsoft makes an offer for Yahoo!l

Post Florida Primary Thoughts....

2008-01-30T17:01:00.000-08:00

Dear Simon,

In response to your email expressing your bewilderment at the pointlessness of the recent Florida primary, I thought I'd compose a more public answer to your question.

Florida delegates are not going to be seated by the decree of the Democratic National Committee. Against the wishes of the Democratic Party leadership, the duly-elected Florida legislature moved up the date of the Florida primary so as to actually have a voice in the choosing of a candidate.

Why would the DNC get their liberal knickers in a twist about this? The most reasonable answer is that having over half of the states vote between January and February would make campaigning very intense for the candidates. Of course, candidates start YEARS before Iowa and New Hampshire so let's all admit that reason was bull.

I think the real reason is that it makes it harder for Iowa and New Hampshire to crown the party nominees. If there are a whole host of primaries around the corner, those two small states become even less important then they already are. And...then LOTS of money is going to get spent in the primary race leaving less for the general election in November.

So, I cast my non-vote for Obama, revelling in the pointlessness of it. Most importantly I got a nifty sticker that said, "I voted" and it got me a free soda at the sub place :)

I wanted the DNC to know what my wishes are even if they don't act on them.

Now Billary are trying to get the delegates for Michigan and Florida reinstated. And I think that is a totally dishonorable crap position for them to take (Let's be honest, she's the one running on paper only) Billary was the only candidate on the ballot in Michigan because the other candidates respected the DNC position...and in Florida they didn't campaign...would Hillary have won if there had been campaigning? She certainly wouldn't have had the lead she ended up with if there had been active campaigning.

It makes me think less of the Clintons. I don't want my Commander in Chief to have "By Any Means Necessary" as a personal motto.

Update

2008-01-22T11:45:00.000-08:00

Well into our third year of homeschooling and we've become very comfortable with it.
The first year I homeschooled, I met a woman who shall remain nameless, who I wanted to be like.
She wasn't defensive or angry about her homeschooling (most of the people I met were in some way) She was different. Things didn't seem to work her up, she was comfortable with who she was and wasn't too perturbed by the crazys that were disrupting our group. That isn't to say that she didn't stand up to them...but they didn't bother her.

I'm like that now. Don't like that I homeschool? Eh...too bad. Oh my, there's a crazy in the group!! Be upfront and avoid unnecessary conflict. Run into another homeschooler that doesn't like how I homeschool? Handle said person like one of the nutjobs :)

We're enjoying Florida and just spent a weekend at Disney for homeschool days. Disney has an education program available to groups during the school year and sometimes they open it up to homeschoolers (so you don't have to go with a group). It was really fun.

Unpacking has moved further than anyone of our last two moves. I've found stuff that I haven't seen since 2002 when we moved to California! And we've been getting rid of stuff....since I haven't seen it in almost 6 years, odds are I don't NEED it.

We've sold the LaSalle house and we got an offer on NYE for our Chicago house. We're still negotiating with the buyers. It's been over 3 weeks. I think they've been watching/reading too much about this real estate crash and assumed that they could get the house for 30% below asking. See...prices aren't dropping all that fast anywhere...they're stagnant more often. Even in the areas where the market has really stalled, price drops have been in the 4% range. Why? Because the seller still has what the buyer wants, a house. And, for most people houses aren't commodities (meaning interchangable like pork bellies or a ton of steel). People fall in love with something like a location or layout...and the buyers have fallen in love with our house. The buyers also have their own website that we managed to find.

I remember the days when I fell in love with a house. It was like being a trembling love soaked teenager...wondering if we were going to live in the new house. Now, after 7 houses...eh..its four walls and a roof. I wonder if people who have been married 5+ times get that way about a new spouse?

Yet Another Reason I Homeschool

2008-01-20T06:26:00.000-08:00

"I believe in the separation of church and state, but I also believe there is important information available on both sides of [evolution]," he said. "To present it in just one way is wrong."
- David Owens, Clay County School Superintendent

“The theory of evolution has many "holes" in it and is certainly contrary to the beliefs of many people, including myself."
- Nassau County Superintendent John Ruis

These quotes come from a recent local newspaper article quoting several local educators. I knew this area was pretty South Georgia but.....DAMN!

Denying evolution is just scary dumb.

It’s like arguing that gravity doesn’t point down.

It’s like saying lasers can’t exist because nothing in the Bible says that light is a particle or a wave.

Evolution is a fundamental way of understanding the biological sciences. Every anti-evolution person I’ve met is ignorant of basic science and the science of evolution. The men quoted above are educators who guide the education of thousands of children and they choose mythology over scientific fact. And in many cases, they don’t understand their own mythology enough to build a consistent case.

What part of evolution are they denying? I’ve heard anti-science people deny the existence of dinosaurs, the speed of light, and geologic wonders like the Grand Canyon took more than 5000 years to happen. You want holes? Let’s talk Biblical Creationism.

- Why are there TWO accounts of creation, back to back, in the Bible?
- Science shows the earth is far older than the 5000+ years counted in the Bible. Why is that?
- What about other creation myths? What makes the Judeo Christian myth better?

These men are crippling their students. The idea that science is a ‘belief’ is mind boggling to me and the idea that a man who says this publically is an influential educator scares me to no end.

Stuff like this is a big reason the rest of the world calls us ‘dumb Americans’ We should make fun of these anti-science morons too and not give them positions of influence in our educational system.

In closing I'd like to address Mr. Owen's claim that schools should teach more than one theory about earth's creation. Since he wants ALL sides represented, I propose that we limit the creation myths taught to those with over a million followers OR those that have been around for more than 3000 years. That should cut the number down to around a dozen.

Homeschooler for Obama

2008-01-10T12:20:00.000-08:00

Notice I didn't say homeschoolerS?

Much has been made about the media deciding, perhaps with help from the Evil Empire (HSLDA), that all homeschoolers are for the Southern Baptist minister. I hate even typing his name.

The thinking is that homeschoolers = right wing religious nutjob. Given that 20-30% of homeschoolers are now considered “non-religious” I find that to be an incredible act of ignorance on the part of the media.

Anyway, I’m fully behind the candidacy of Barak Obama. It is my belief, that of the current democratic candidates, he is the only one that will pursue a progressive agenda AND can get elected.

His plans for health care, education (funding No Child Left Behind) and Iraq (get the troops out in less than two years) are spelled out on his website www.barakobama.com While I may be a homeschoolers who is partly homeschooling because I think NCLB is a load of poor pedagogy, it WAS an unfunded program and well funded universal education is a boon for our entire country.

Will white people vote for a black guy?

2008-01-05T17:14:00.000-08:00

Post-Iowa, I think the answer has to be YES!

I’m not sure that nonAmericans get how big Iowa was.

I’ve been reading online newspapers since I helped one get off the ground 12 years ago.

One of my faves is the Daily Telegraph. I especially love the obituaries! Anyway, its always interesting to me to see what they report on. International coverage is different (obviously!) and how they report on the U.S. is interesting to me too. Sometimes the Telegraph has news about the US that I didn’t read in any U.S. paper even!

The Daily Telegraph has an article titled, “Is America Ready for a Black President?” asking the same questions that the U.S. papers covered a while ago. The whole black thing seems to be largely a non-American interest. The Telegraph also has an article comparing Obama’s success to Jesse Jackson’s lack of it 20 + years ago.

Many of the British people responding keep saying things like:

People will vote differently than they Poll
The Iowa caucus wasn’t a poll, it was a very public vote.

White people won’t vote for Obama
Iowa is something like 98% white. It doesn’t get more white than that. A bunch of WHITE democrats voted for him.

Clinton is still leading 20% nationally
1) When was that poll taken? I bet there’d be a post-Iowa bump for Obama
2) Overall numbers matter less than what states Obama can take (vs. Clinton). Obama has great crossover support from moderates, including moderate republicans who would rather bite off their arms than vote for Clinton. Swing states like Ohio (which has a significant African American population) and Florida (same thing again) would benefit from having moderate republicans voting.

Hillary Clinton is unelectable. I don’t care if she has more experience (and that’s debatable) I don’t care if she has more support from the DNC…She doesn’t have enough cross support to be elected.

Now the important question:

Will the Republicans choose someone who thinks gay marriage is a bigger threat to our society than rampant global warming?

2008 Resolutions

2008-01-01T15:40:00.000-08:00

I never do resolutions...they all seemed so cliched but I thought this would be a good year to do it since 2007 was such a horrible year and I'm really excited about starting over.

So...here they are....

1) Blog/write more. I’ve really enjoyed writing lately and with the 2008 elections coming up there’s lots of stuff to write about.

2) Less time on the computer. Might seem in conflict from number one but I’d like to focus more on unpacking and homeschooling

3) Schedule working on my business more Again, seems in conflict with another resolution doesn’t it? Maybe the resolution should be

4) Make my time on the computer more productive. Less forum/blog reading…more WORK

5) Call a friend once a week. 2007 I just lost touch with everyone. Once a week I’m going to call a friend.

6) Get politically active with the 2008 elections. I’m really concerned about the religious right and the state of America.

Any other suggestions?

Which Candidate Scares YOU the Most?

2007-12-26T06:21:00.000-08:00

Now that we’re 80% of the way through the holiday season, it’s getting easier to breathe. It’s been strange since it was my first birthday without my dad..and even stranger that it was over 70 degrees on my birthday.

On my birthday I went to see a movie, Charlie Wilson’s War starring Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts. Aaron Sorkin (he of West Wing fame) wrote the script. And it was so good….very honest look at how the US viewed the Afghan conflict with the Soviets and how our support of the Afghan rebels has impacted the War on Terror today. It was interesting to me to see how career diplomats and CIA officers had a different view of the possible implications of supporting the rebels..and well-meaning individuals upset that apple cart. Left unspoken, however, was the damage caused by the end of the Soviet Union. Perhaps another day?

To round out my left-wing Christmas holiday season, I’ve been reading American Fascists by Chris Hedges. Have you heard of dominionists? Did you know Huckabee is one? As a secular American it *horrifies* me that the Republican front-runner got into politics because there wasn’t enough Jebus in the political arena

“I didn’t get into politics because I thought government had a better answer. I got into politics because I knew government didn’t have the real answers, that the real answers lie in accepting Jesus Christ into our lives.”(source)

I’d call him a “soft dominionist” and many of the people that I’ve met like that aren’t mean (they don’t hate people different than themselves) but tend to be *very* ignorant of other worldviews. Yeah…I want a person like that as my president…NOT.

Other than that….we enjoy the warm weather here. Homeschooling is going great. We’re settling into our community ...things are going great.

Why don't secular homeschoolers have more of a voice?

2007-12-20T10:57:00.002-08:00

Very interesting post here about inclusive groups being shut out by fundie groups like HSLDA. And to a certain extent that's true....Michael Ferris and his flying monkeys really try to make homeschooling a RWFNJ (Right-wing, fundie, nut-job) territory...but that's just about 10% of the problem, IMHO.

3 years ago, when I started homeschooling, I started an inclusive homeschool group with a friend. And things imploded multiple times due to 3 main reasons reasons:

1) Inclusive means Christians are going to join. When things came up, like do we call it a Christmas party or a holiday party, one of the RWFNJ blew a gasket over calling it a Holiday party. A whole bunch of ugliness happened...because RWFNJ really had her own agenda and didn't get that not everyone in the group celebrated Christmas. Then a few other of the RWFNJs started spouting "War on Christmas" rhetoric from FOX (or their church). No one wants that kind of conflict at a personal level...especially in groups involving their children. Many of the secular homeschoolers began to feel uncomfortable (unsafe) due to the high level of childish emotions from adults. If anyone is interested, I've kept most of the emails from that debacle...email me if you'd like to see them. I'd give this about 10%.

2) This is the biggie...I'd give it 50% of the problem...secular homeschoolers don't make good soldiers/followers. It's like herding cats! Everyone has their own individual agenda and isn't interested in something bigger. Christians have two things going for them: a belief that sacrifing for today can result in a better tomorrow and a belief that submission is a good thing. Secular homeschoolers tend to want it NOW and exactly their way....and if you have 30 people in a group, not everyone can have their way about every issue.

3) Inclusive groups tend to avoid organization and rules to prevent some of the conflict due to problem 2...and then when things start to escalate, there isn't a procedure in hand to deal with it. Some of the people in the group I helped start needed two things; to be kicked out and on meds. But, the leadership of the group, (and I include myself in this) spent endless hours agonizing about how fair would it be to limit the troublemakers' speech on the list or if they should be removed from the group. A Christian group would have prayed on it and booted out the insubordinate loon...staying on message. Their is something to be said for that kind of control within a group. I'd say this is 30% of the problem.

So, in closing, I'd like to restate my position: The biggest obstacle to inclusive/secular homeschoolers are ourselves. If we want what HSLDA has in terms of recognition then we have to adopt certain of their behaviors (organization, leadership, dedicated followers)

"But you seem so nice"

2007-11-04T12:49:00.000-08:00

I'm finding that Jacksonville, at least the westside, is a very Christian (christian meaning fundie right-wing nutjob in this case) place.

At the homeschool group that B. goes to, I chat with other moms. It has gotten around the group that I'm not a Christian (ie not one of them). One of the moms that I've chatted with said to me, "I heard a rumor about you"

I replied, in a slightly bewildered tone, "Oh...really"

"Yes, I heard you're not a Christian" she said.

"Oh" I instantly felt relief "That's true. We're Jewish"

Her eyes widened and she said, "But you seem so nice" Now it was my turn to have my eyes get big. "I mean we have so much in common" she just kept digging. It was pretty obvious that she could see how shocked I was by what she said.

After watching her struggle I joked, "Well, I try not to let people know I eat babies for breakfast."

I have a good friend that is a Bible-believing, vote straight republican, Christian. We certainly have similar values and, as my friend says, they're called Judeo-Christian ethics for a reason.

After discussing this incident with several people, I've learned why the mom said what she did. Before I go further I want to say that this mom is a nice person who I enjoy occasionally chatting with.

In short, the thinking goes like this:

Good people go to heaven
Only people who believe in Jesus go to heaven.
Good people = Believe in Jesus

and the opposite must be true too...right?

Bad people go to hell.
People who don't believe in Jesus will go to hell.
Bad people = people who don't believe in Jesus.

So...I present a dilemma to these people. I'm nice. Often, we share similar values regarding family and so on. But...I don't believe. And, therefore, must be going to hell. But I don't *seem* like a bad person.

Does God really send good people to hell?

Is that the kind of God that would be worthy of worshiping?

Am I sent from the Satan to try and tempt their faith?

BWWAAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Kids and Programming

2007-09-26T13:38:00.000-07:00

So I'm interested in exposing my older son to some programming stuff. He has expressed interest in making a Ben 10 quiz game. His idea is to have people match images of the villians to Back in the early mists of time, programming seemed to be more kid friendly with lots of magazines about programming..I even took a class at a Radio Shack on a TRS-80 that was a true blast.

So, here's a link to the Wikipedia entry on Educational Programming Languages. Oddly enough, my friend Simon sent me a link to a talk about childhood dreams the other day. Turns out the speaker was one of the developers of Alice. Here's the link to the talk. It's long but worth it. Make sure you have some hankies at the end, especially if you have young kids. Randy Pausch reminds me a lot of Simon. They have some similar mannerisms. And I think a similar philosophy about life being fun.

Anyway, take a look at the entry and let me know if you've had any experience with any of them. I'm thinking that Ben can take things a bit further than his original idea with some of the programs available.

I'm not so sure that I want to use a textbook for teaching it either. My current plan is to learn it myself and design mini-lessons to incrementally teach tools. Or, I can just let him rip.

Acceptence

2007-09-24T11:47:00.000-07:00

So ends the Days of Awe. I’ve spent much of this High Holiday season meditating on conflict, acceptance, and absolution. Over the past few years I’ve noticed that as I gained a stronger sense of self that some of my long term relationships began to change. Some of them changed for the better…some relationships did not.

So this morning I was reading the New York Times online. There was an essay by someone in the Magazine section about how the writer dropped her wedding ring into a muddy pond to try and help a young married man find his ring. (Go read the story for more details) What truly struck me was the narcissism of her “help” and realized that I’ve been trying to do that for some of the higher conflict relationships in my life. Rather than dropping a ring, I keep insisting that there has to be something that I can do or say to make them see or accept my truth. The fact is its out of my hands. The only thing I can do is make the decision to protect my family, state why I’m taking said action, and then following through. When the other person gets mad about my actions, there are no words that are going to distract them from their pain and anger. I have to accept the fact they’re going to be angry with me, try to change my decision, and be unwilling to accept it. That doesn’t mean that I plan on becoming a punching bag…rather, I plan (hope?) to make it very clear that I withdraw as a consequence of the anger. Those of you who know me probably know who I’m talking about.

So, did I have any great insights about homeschooling? Of course! In light of the Satanic Yoga class and what happened later (being told I wasn’t ‘godly’ enough) I’ve spent much time thinking about being homeschoolers/secular homeschoolers/unschoolers and where it places our family. All of those labels place my family out of the mainstream…each one puts us in a smaller group. And people don’t like it when others do something different. If I talk to a woman who has her kids in public school, 9 times out of 10 she gets defensive when she hears I homeschool. If I talk to a religious homeschoolers, she starts spouting how awful evolution is when she hears we aren’t Christians.

The conflict is inherent. By not being mainstream, there are going to be people who wish to engage in conflict with me to improve their own sense of self-worth. Often it can be small and snide (Talk to me about family sometime) or blatantly large (I really have to write about not being ‘godly’). The past few months I’ve been thinking that these conflicts are because I’m too up front. And that isn’t the case. My mistake is not being accepting of the conflict and trying to diffuse it by acknowledging/accepting it. In the case of Public School Mom, rather than look at her like she’s crazy and changing the subject, I should say something to acknowledge that we made different choices and I’m sure her choice is good for her family. Don’t really know what to do about Christian homeschool mom who freaks when she finds out I’m not Just Like Her, but I’ll think on it some more.

I accept the conflict. I accept that I have to acknowledge it before it becomes something more tangible.

Since this post has gone on long enough, I’ll write more about absolution later.

Christian Homeschoolers....Scare Me!

2007-09-13T13:22:00.000-07:00

As a homeschooler, I've met my share of right wing Christian nutjobs.

This is an excerpt from a conversation I had yesterday.

Me: I'm thinking of signing up my son for the yoga class

RWCFN (Right wing Christian Fundy Nutjob):"Oh, I pulled my daughter out of the kids yoga class because they did Satanic things"

Me: (Getting really excited about a Satanic yoga class) Really? Are they sacrificing animals or something?

RWCFN: The teacher had the kids count backwards from 6 and then relax.

Me:(Shoulders slumped in dissapointment) Oh. What's Satanic about counting backwards? Can you hear Paul saying "Kill John" or something? (OK, they really say 'Paul is dead' but mine was funnier)

RWCFN: (bewildered look because she's too young to remember vinyl) No. It's self-hypnosis. That's how Satan can possess you.

Me: (Thinking she's a loon) Riiiight. Better go catch Josh.

Intellectually I accept that the majority of people who homeschool in the US are doing it for religious/moral reasons. It's when I run into them that I start thinking state control might be a good thing. The fact is that this woman is going to teach her children substandard truths that have the potential to cripple them as adults if the US doesn't slide into a full fledged theocracy.

So, what's the alternative? Sending her kids to the local private Christian madrassa? And yes, I do think those schools are on the same level as the hate factories in Pakistan. They aren't any better just because they teach Jesus and not Allah.

So, Ben's getting signed up for the Satanic Yoga Class...wish I could take one too.

You’re not from ‘round here

2007-08-30T07:48:00.000-07:00

That’s what the checkout lady said to me at Target the day after we arrived.

In a fit of “Git’ ‘er done” we decided to drive straight down from Chicago….over 19 hours later, around 2:30 AM we arrived at our rental in Jacksonville. The temp housing is a 3 bedroom furnished house in an area called Fleming Island with lots of shopping nearby.

So, the next AM we go over to Target and get some basic supplies…like toilet paper. Wandering around the toy area (Hello! I have two kids…one of which thinks that Target is a Thomas store!) I noticed they had a NASCAR toy aisle. Having never seen anything like it before, I took a picture like a dumb tourist.

While the family and I walked to the checkout to pay…we saw ANOTHER NASCAR aisle…this time in home improvements! We get to the checkout and things are going fine…DH takes the boys out to the car after a brief discussion. When DH left, the checkout woman says, “You’re not from around here, are you?” Turns out my accent (?!?) gave it away. After a couple of days, I could hear my own Southside nasal uban-like twang.

So…believe me…I recognize that I’m not in Kansas (or Illinois) anymore. Below is the a list of the Good (and Bad) I’m finding here

Good

People – Everyone is very chatty and nice
Proximity – It’s 2 hours away from Orlando. We’ve already got our annual passes for Universal Studios! Yeah Us!
Living together – We live together 7 days a week
Pace – MUUUUCH slower than Chicago, which in turn was slower than L.A. People told me that people are more laid back here and, since I consider myself a laid back person, I thought I’d simply fit in. But (there’s always one) the first few days felt like I’d stepped into a slow motion version of my life.

Bad

Bugs – O.M.G.!!! They’re everywhere! And huge! We saw the largest cockroach ever the other day..a good 2-3 inches.
Heat – but we’re getting used to it. When I go back to Chicago in November to pack, I’m sure I’ll die from the cold
Religion or GroupThink – Using Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development, we’re talking Stage 4 country…if not Stage 1. Lots of Jeebus and religious stuff everywhere. And advertising that promotes Christianity as some sort of persecuted religion. Kinda scary

That big news?

2007-08-27T06:25:00.000-07:00

Well..most know of our big news...we're moving, or rather we've already moved, to Jacksonville, Florida.

DH wanted to live at home again and the company didn't want to transfer him for some more time....so DH went out and found a new job. It's with a Brazillian company so he's going to start learning Portugese...use Google to figure out the rest. (Simon...you placed 16th in the Swatch contest years ago...I know you can do it! :))

I'm going to do another post soon, with photos about how different it is here. I don't want to say its better or worse...its different. I still need to go get a photo from the salon that offers "Free mullet removal"

We drove down from Chicago which was complicated by bringing a ton of guns, one geriatric dog, and a cat who hates car drives. It took time...but we got here thanks to the portable DVD player, steroids, and lots of caffine.

The housing market is interesting here. We are looking on the westside of town since that's where the job is. Oakleaf Plantation is where we're probably going to end up..yes, total plastic suburbia. It's beautiful...I'm just worried about the people! It's a very soccer mom community...I wear black shirts with cartoon representations of Death. I'm not sure its going to be a great match. The problem is the part of town where we should be is too far from the job.

CFF: Map for Saturday

2007-06-09T08:19:00.000-07:00

This was a documentary done by Brook Silva-Braga about his year of travelling. He went beyond the backpack in Europe stuff and spent a considerable amount of time in Asia.

Brook saved up money, left his cushy job, and went out to see the world. Doesn't sound like anything particually unusual when written out like that...but the documentary was incredibly insightful about life on the road and the type of person who is willing to take that leap.

Travel takes you out of your box. You meet different people, see different lives...it can be incredibly eye-opening. Yet, I was dissapointed during the Q&A after the film. In some ways Brook seemed as confined by the "have-to" list as Joe Blow off the street. Many of the people interviewed by Brook while travelling seem to be more open to out of the box thinking.

Most interesting to me was his assertion that he feels the need to get this all done before marriage and kids because "you can't do it then" Uh...no..you can. It's different, its certainly not mainstream..but it can be done. My DH and I are contemplating saving up money and divesting ourselves of stuff so we can start travelling with our two boys in a couple of years. But then we're already out of the mainstream (homeschooling, unschooling, Compact) so that's just part of who we are.

Make no mistake....this is a great movie! If you did the backpack thing, it'll bring back good memories...if you're just thinking about doing it, its informative...and nothing else, hopefully it'll show people how to think out of the box a bit.

A Map for Saturday is the website. There are DVD's of the movie for sale there as well as some other information about the film.

Debby

Life

2007-06-09T08:11:00.001-07:00

we've been sick for nearly three months!

We've had the flu, bronchitis, tonsillitis, and multiple colds. I have never been so sick in my life! Ended up on steroids, antibiotics, inhalers.....

Just after I got back from the Cleveland Film Festival I felt something wrong....and boy was a right. Frankly, I think it was our bodies responding to the stress of my dad's last few weeks. When it was all over, we fell apart...I know I did.

In the middle of this we planned a vacation since we hadn't been on one in quite awhile. We drove down to visit some friends in Tampa...then took a Carnival cruise that made me feel positively geriatric, spent one day at Universal Studios Orlando (It is better (cleaner, more fun) than that Mouse place. And then, for my older son, we spent two days at the Nick Hotel. Think 5 star resort for the 10 and under set. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It was very clean and lots of fun. We also got a great rate.

Some big changes are coming down the pike for us. Don't want to talk about them right now but in a week we'll have a better idea of what we're going to do.

Debby

NOW READING:P.J. O'Rourke on The Wealth of Nations Delightful little read about O'Rourke's veiw of Adam Smith's groundbreaking book on economics. It's a great read especially if you don't know anything about Smith's book

Why man really evolved!

2007-03-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

What do Napoleon and penguins have in common?

2007-03-26T09:11:00.000-07:00

Not much but its funny! Problem with this commercial is that it doesn't really sell the product...the build up is too much and you forget what it is they're selling. A very quick series of three misunderstandings would have made the point better.

Anyway...

Axe Deoderent

2007-03-26T09:05:00.000-07:00

I think I'm married to this man.....

Honda Commercial

2007-03-26T08:54:00.000-07:00

Well, it seems I can no longer figure out how to post videos directly from YouTube so I'm going to try and embed the commercials

This is the Honda Choir commercial. I love humans imitating sounds like that. Hush by Bobby McFerrin is one of my favorite albums.....so this was obviously going to be one of my favorte commercials!

And I'm home from CIFF

2007-03-20T13:50:00.000-07:00

What is CIFF? I'm glad you asked, its the Cleveland International Film Festival. Wonderful time, met great people, and saw fantastic films.

I saw 16 movies instead of the 18 I was orignally scheduled to see due to exhaustion and a delayed flight out. I'm going to write about each one as I took extensive notes about each film.

Below I've posted some of my favorite commercials from the World's Best Commercials movie. A festival favorite, I was underwhelmed by this year's collection. I think I've culled the funniest/most interesting ones (at least to me!)

Enjoy!

Debby

I Want Toys-R-Us

2007-03-07T14:24:00.000-08:00

My younger son, Josh, thinks that Toys-R-Us has magical powers. It started when we would go to their website and surf the Thomas the Tank Engine stuff. Josh doesn't get that they're there to buy, he just likes looking at the things and talking about/naming them. Very appropriate developmentally if you ask me.

Now, he's discovered that Toys-R-Us is an actual store! And, he's decided that my father (papa) has gone there.

Since we don't really do the heaven thing (in reform judaism there isn't much of an emphasis on sin *or* heaven) we haven't been saying that Papa went to heaven. We've been saying very vague things like, "Papa had to go someplace where he wouldn't be sick anymore" Our 7 year old accepts that at face value...its our just now 3 year old that says, "Where is it?" Since we didn't give him a location, he's made one up.

Fine, if he wants to think that people go to Toys-R-Us when they die, that's OK. It's certainly a 3 year old's idea of heaven.

Lots of Updates

2007-03-04T15:49:00.000-08:00

Lots of things to catch up on with y'all:

We bought a new minivan. To all of my friends who I asked to shoot me in the head if I bought one...please don't!

I'd been driving a 2002 Hyundai Elantra GT. It's the "sporty" version of the regular Elantra with a hatchback, leather seating, and a zippy 5-speed manual transmission. I bought it when I was living in California and the manual was handy going through the Cajon Pass. But since then, we've added another child and our older child got friends. I really resisted it....and then my good friend Katie pointed out to me that, "your days of parallel parking in hip parts of the city are over for awhile" Funny....and true. Now when I go to hip parts of Chicago, I just put the car in a lot :)

So....Goodbye, hip, zippy car

Hello convenient family car (with heated leather seats that make me feel like I just peed myself)

See how they made the picture for the Hyundai brochure look all stylish and cool?!?!? It's as if its the type of car one might take to the opera! But we're more the type to go to the strange, ethnic restaurant type.... The 2007 Hyundai Entourage really is a nice car and handled very well in the snow that happened the day after I took delivery...and the snow that happened again a week later.

Katie and I had a booth for our business, Knowledge Journeys, to the In-Home Conference. Didn't make a lot of sales but we learned a lot about selling, setting up booths, and how homeschool people buy things. Saw some great stuff out there too, take a look at Homeschool, Inc. Since we're electic/unschooling types I thought this wouldn't be helpful to us but since their booth was right next to ours, I spent a lot of time talking with the business people I really had a chance to learn about their product.

I'm learning how to live without taking care of my dad. Part of me really doesn't think he's gone...its more like he's just in the hospital again. I finally managed to go to the funeral home to get the death certificates Friday. There it is in black and white that he's dead. I've had a lot of angst about if I did the right thing by him...usually at night when I'm trying to sleep.

Anyway.....enough for now

It's over

2007-02-11T19:54:00.000-08:00

After an amazing battle with advanced lung cancer, my dad died today from an ecoli infection in his leg.

It was fast. He went into the hospital on Friday and died this afternoon...around 48 hours. Phil was peaceful and surrounded by family...including family he didn't like which is a subject for another day :)

The last several weeks have been ones of gradual decline due to excessive fluid around his heart which was finally taken care of on Friday night. (again, another topic for another day) It was still a surprise as the Tuesday before his doctor told him he had probably another 6 months or so.

He wasn't ready to go. And until they had enough morphine on board, he was agitated and angry. There were things he wanted to do and he kept putting them off until he saved more money or when it was warmer or some other random excuse.

I don't want my deathbed to be a place of regret.

And I'm ....

2006-12-31T12:34:00.000-08:00

Spent!

Any Austin Power fans out there?

Thank goodness December is almost over is all I have to say. Hanukkah, Christmas, my birthday, gifts to buy and events to attend...I'm done.

It was really nice looking back. My dad bought the uniqe gift of a travel bar. For those 35 and under, it is a oversized briefcase that carries bottles of alcohol and mixing appratus. Along with fondue pots, the were terribly chic when I was a child. So far I've learned to make Southern Comfort Manhattans and Sex on the Beach drinks.

School wise there were some interesting developments. We discovered the Disney Bill Nye DVD series of videos at the library. Also my dad bought him the Snap Circuits Extreme which has also been a big hit.

We've also been spending time up at the Museum of Science and Industry in the city quite a bit. In helping Ben learn, I've discovered that rather than try "age appropriate materials" I've been using stuff allegedly beyond his grade leve (which is second grade) The Nye videos are supposed to be for 4th graders and up but Ben gets them. Also at the museum, reading the advanced signs and display information has really moved his reading forward.

There is a strong school of thought in education theory that if something is beyond the student, the student shouldn't attempt it because it could be discouraging. I get it. When Ben was in a more traditional education atmosphere, he was discouraged when asked to do something beyond his skills. But in a situation where he now feels totally safe? He's eager to reach and struggle. Is it because he knows there won't be someone there to make fun of him? He knows that he has a partner in this journey? I don't know.

Debby

Scared of Unschooling..

2006-12-11T17:21:00.000-08:00

There has been a recent rash of articles and shows on unschooling. And of course the blog world has responded..

One of my regular morning reads Flea has read a few sentences and then goes on to say some of the DUMBEST things.

Some of my faves?

Unschooler say that kids will handle money and that will teach math
That his kids are "naturally learning" in their schools all day...uh..dude..hate to break it to you but sitting at a desk and having a teacher lecture on what they're supposed to do is not natural!
Kids won't learn about something like history unless they love history.

I'll give an example. My 7 year old loves science. So, I'm using science topics (bugs, human body, outer space, chemistry) to teach everything including math and *gasp* history. Yesterday (on a Sunday!) I set out a magnetism kit. (I do something called strewing..I place things, like books, educational software, kits or videos, around the house to catch his interest) He wanted to check it out so we did a couple of the experiments (reading the directions) . The 7 year old had to do somethings like measuring several times and write down the results (writing and reading). When he was done with the experiments we charted the measurements. This somehow lead to a conversation about how magnets are used and what technological advances came about because of them (history) which took us into a discussion about discoverers like Columbus and the Vikings. My favorite moment during that conversation was "Why didn't they just use GPS?"

I don't know *any* unschoolers who are not totally engaged with their children and educating them. Usually if a parent cares enough to do the research to find out about unschooling they're already committed to educating their kids.

Many of the critics are really getting excited (and not in a good way!) about unschooling. Why aren't these people more upset about how many of the public schools that are failing? Why aren't they thinking of ways to help their own kids?

In general, its amazing to me how little people who profess to be professionals ("I'm a teacher and I'm appalled at unschooling") actually *know* about unschooling. They read a blurb or hear what some know-nothing talking head has to say on the subject. Or they read one article by someone who views himself as the "head" of unschooling.

Here are some facts:

Unschooling is a spectrum. There are those in the community who wish to claim that there is a pure version...but there isn't. It's about being child led
Some unschoolers use textbooks or worksheets....if there children are interested or motivated in that direction....OR IF THEY FEEL THEIR KIDS NEED IT
Unschooling parents are really involved with their kids
Unschooling doesn't have one look....our version of unschooling is different than someone elses
Assessment is a current educational fad as a result of the No Child Left Behind debacle. "How do you know what your child knows?" I'm with my son so much and engage him so much that I have a very good idea of what he knows....my level of knowledge is certainly better than that of a 20 question test.
Unschooling a younger child looks much different than unschooling an older child. But unschooling a younger child can open up so many doors to unschooling an older child. You don't have to deal with issues that schools can cause (self-esteem, dislike of learning).

Anyway...feel free to argue with me!

Yucky Stuff in my Navel

2006-12-09T06:36:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's what someone from Australia typed in to get to my blog.

The yucky stuff came from the interrogation of my husband regarding the free Thanksgiving turkey (that turkey was total crap for anyone interested)

What's even funnier is that my blog was the *second* one in the list. The first one was an article from educationworld.com. Now THAT is funny!

My 7 year old gave me some other ideas of things to put in my blog to drive strange traffic here:

I eat toe jam

Sometimes I pee out my butt

That should really drive the freaks here!

Coming Out

2006-12-06T08:34:00.000-08:00

Not that kind of coming out....what a dirty mind you have! ;)

I'm an unschooling mom. I am not a radical unschooling mom...just a garden variety unschooling mom. My usual answer to "What kind of homeschooling do you do?" is "Constructivist" because unschooling has become such a loaded term.

Some background might be necessary. Growing up I attended a private constructivist school. It was a *strict* constructivist...we didn't have teachers, we had helpers. The helpers assisted (and guided us) in developing yearly goals, monthly goals and weekly goals. They then put together materials to help us in our journey. Skills were gained within some sort of context. Math and language had *meaning* and were more than just worksheets. It was great.

Imagine my surprise years ago when I read some of John Holt's stuff. 'Da man was recreating the wheel by creating the word "unschooling" It's simply constructivism without the edu-speak.

As I take more ed classes at the local university, I realize more and more that unschooling (or constructivism) is a philosophy not used much in schools not because of a lack of resources but because people are scared of it. People that feel themselves to be unempowered (teachers under Every Child Left Behind?) do not have the tools to empower children to be self-directed learners. It's easier emotionally and physically to hand out a drill worksheet on addition than to sit and direct a child in the usefulness of addition or help children find uses for addition that are meaningful to them.

I believe constructivism as an educational philosophy works. It takes time to teach a child how to be self directed but it pays huge dividends. In our future economy it is going to be more important to be able to

retool skill sets (self-directed learning)
find information (ability to research facts)

than to memorize a lot of facts. But our drive to standardized testing forces teachers to focus more on facts than skills.

This is why we homeschool.

This is why we "unschool"

2006-11-18T18:40:00.000-08:00

funny baby

Brian insists that "they're going to hell" I think those parents were *inspired*. There is a short stage where babies do that movement right when they're learning to crawl. To stick a doll under him....fantastic. I hope they show that video at his wedding!

It's Saturday Night and....

2006-11-18T18:13:00.000-08:00

I'm still sober...what the hell is that about!?!?
It was an awful Saturday. Nothing seemed to go right including the moron that was backing out of a space and hit my car as I was going through a parking lot. When we got out he said, "I guess you didn't see me backing out" No you fucker....I saw you starting to back out so I laid on the horn and tried to get past you. With the observation that my car was fine, the fucker drove off. The guy is the manager of a new chain restaurant near my house (http://www.joeysseafood.com/) and his car has MN plates on it. I'm going there for lunch Monday and if he's in, I'm going to nag until I get a comped meal.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit is up on the big screen. I think my 2 year old is going to need therapy after.
Debby

Complaining

2006-11-13T17:51:00.000-08:00

I was whinging to my husband tonight on the phone that some of my favorite blog people haven't been posting regularly! How dare they go off and get lives!!!!

My "supportive" husband's response? "Well, have you written lately?"

"uh...no...but that's ok because no one reads my blog" was my very lame answer.

"Think of it as a sacrifice...write a post and hopefully one of the other bloggers will post too"

So...here we are...I'm taking the sacrificial approach!

Update around here...not much. Dad just finished cycle 5. They've lowered the dose to 700mg on a 21 day cycle. After his second dose, my dad required lots of whole blood...and ended up with an infection. They kept him in for 10 days, which in this day and age means he must have been near death. My dad is feeling better and doing stuff like going out for breakfast and shopping at Wal-Mart. (Really he just cruises around and chats up the retired women who work there part time )

Bri is still in Bufu...Ben is reading better. Thrilled about the midterm elections. I hope the dems haven't peaked too early....they're very good at that :) Thanksgiving is coming up and now since Bri is a manager one of his vendors is going to give him a turkey. Me being me I had all sorts of questions (Is it fresh? Has it been injected with lots of yucky stuff to give it "flavor"?) Brian is never one to look a gift turkey in the mouth so he'll take it regardless. My dad has chemo the day before so we have to have him admitted to the hospital on thanksgiving day to get his day-after shots. The outpatient Oncology clinic is closed on the great T-Day. :(

Debby

2006-10-27T06:12:00.000-07:00

Michael J. Fox Campaigns

This is a great example of how Hollywood can actually *help* Democrats instead of making them look like a bunch of elitist turds.

I heard that there is going to be a response to this video staring several professional athletes. Are Republicans so out of touch as to put virtually perfect physical specimens on video as saying "We don't need no stinkin' stem cell research!" Evidently the ansewer to that is....yes.

2006-10-16T14:46:00.000-07:00

Apparently We Need Denis Leary To Tell Us Not To Drink Drive

I remember the first time I saw this commercial. It was in Cleveland. The ad agency I was working for had purchased tickets for those of us in "decision making positions" to attend the foriegn commerical movie at the Cleveland Film Festival.

This was one of the funny ones. Another, not so funny one, was about puppies "talking" as they were drowing in the bag that their owner had used to dump them.

But the Denis Leary one is funny :)

Death and Other Cheery Subjects

2006-10-16T13:25:00.000-07:00

Not suprisingly, I've been thinking about death a lot lately. I've been thinking about my dad, myself...and my kids.

I did a scrapbook last year for my dad. One of my favorite photos is when my dad was about 7 months old. Its my dad, his mom, his grandmother, and his great-grandmother all sitting together outside the farmhouse that my great-grandparents owned. My dad is a healthy happy infant. Now, he's dying. His skin is yellow, the cheeks are sunken, and the breathing difficult.

It came to me that someday, my boys are going to be that way too....hopefully. They're going to be old and dying or at the very least sick with the illnesses of old age. These young and energetic boys that I chase around the house at night herding them into bed are going to end up like my dad.

This bothers me tremendously. I'm far less worried about me dying. If I flopped over today the boys would have Brian (DH) and if Bri and I both went they'd go to our very dear friends down in Florida. They'll be OK. But I probably won't be there when they're my dad's age. I won't be able to help them the way I am helping my dad.

My older son asked Brian the other day, "Who will take care of me when I'm old and sick like Papa (that's their name for my dad)?" Good question.

Debby

2006-10-12T08:16:00.000-07:00

Funny Stuff On A Plane

I love this video. It was so funny I cried.

My YouTube habit is getting way way out of control and will only get worse now that I can push a button and blog it.

Snow, Snow, go away!

2006-10-12T07:51:00.000-07:00

I'm in Bufu with the boys and its snowing....I wonder if its snowing in Chicago. October 12 is a little early for snow if you ask me. The snow is actually sticking a bit. wow....I predicted October 20 and Number One Son predicted Thanksgiving Day.

It was 80 Degrees a couple of days ago....I wanna go back to California.

Help the Drunk!

2006-09-28T08:25:00.000-07:00

No, its not a new charity but a really fun game ala "Spank the Penguin"

So, Help the Drunk

Debby

Maybe it would be useful to WRITE something?

2006-09-20T16:24:00.000-07:00

I've become a total blog-a-holic. I read cop blogs, medical blogs, mom blogs...its out of control when you have 6 folders in your Favorite Blog folder.

Anyway...thought I'd share a couple of my recent gems:

Wide Lawns and Narrow Minds - read how the other half lives and wet your pants with laughter. My in-laws live in a similar complex in Oak Brook but its just condos filled with elderly people. Subservient Worker talks about the age diverse population in one of the most incredible areas of Florida.

Laughing Pastor - If I wasn't Jewish, I'd be proud to be a congregant in his church. And he shares my fascination with Mormons. I love Mormons. How can you go wrong with a religion that has super secret underwear and offers up the hope that we can all become gods?!?!

Danish Royal Watchers - Mormons and the Danish Royal Family...now there's a combo. I just find the family very interesting. The Glucksburgs have influenced and married into most of the royal families of Europe and you don't hear much about them. It's all about Queen Victoria! Crown Prince Fred married a girl that he picked up in a bar....how cool is that?!?

I'm a tropical storm

2006-08-23T07:27:00.000-07:00

And they even spelled it Debby!

I'm so proud!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060823/ap_on_re_us/tropical_weather

It's Baaaack

2006-08-13T17:45:00.000-07:00

Bummer!

After nearly 10 months of clean reports, my dad's latest CT came back with a 2cm mass at the upper part of the lung.

We got the report last Tuesday. The bronchoscopy (sp) was scheduled for Friday. Thursday we went in for routine pre-op testing and they found that my dad also has some major heart trouble. He's been in the hospital since Thursday getting meds and lots of tests. So far, the lung cancer hasn't metastizied (sp) to the traditional spots (liver, bones, brain).

He's also been taking folic acid and getting vitamin shots to prep him for his new chemo drug, Alimta. (www.alimta.com) He's going to be taking that along with taxotere which is not a normal combo. Not sure what we're going to do about the cost of Alimta (over $4K/month) Maybe we'll arrange for him to take chemo at the hospital and work something out with them. It's not like my dad has anything that they can take.

I'm finding myself not doing well with this. I knew it would come back...its lung cancer after all. But I'm finding myself getting really shut down with this.

Debby

What I'm reading

2006-07-27T08:15:00.000-07:00

Best fiction I've read in a long time

Suite Francaise

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1400044731/sr=8-1/qid=1154013099/ref=pd_bbs_1/103-7711167-8739010?ie=UTF8

Forget the fact that the author was a Russian Jewish emigre that got sent to die in the camps...this is just a damn good story! It's about the German invasion of France and its aftermath. The insight that this woman had into true human nature is amazing. So much of what she wrote is till true today about the ability of people to throw others under the bus. I've heard said that at the end of life there can be amazing clarity. You can really see that Irene understood humans, French and German. No one is a monster...no one is an angel. Amazing book...go read!

Why can't he be angry?

2006-07-26T19:38:00.000-07:00

Lost both of his sons in war..

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060726/ap_on_re_us/second_son_killed

and he says he can't be angry. Hell, I haven't lost anyone and I'm angry about the sinking shithole that our Fearless Leader has gotten us into.

That poor family

Dear Katie

2006-07-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

I like to read Katie Allison Granju's blog.

I've followed her writing for years. She's a big attachment parenting promoter and while I wouldn't call myself an AP'r, I certainly have sympathies that go that direction.

Several years ago, her and her husband divorced. He tried to get custody...messy..messy...messy. Katie has expressed some anger occasionally over her co-parenting issues but overall seems really devoted to the idea that co-parenting is best for her kids. As with any blog, there are the random bitter negative comments on Katie's blog and some her "gentle readers" make snarky comments alledging the anonymous negative comments are from Katie's ex or his new victim..I mean fiance. Evidently, Katie's ex gets really pissed off about this and asks her to remove them. It seems really controlling and strange...Especially if he's not the insulting anon comment poster. Katie wrote a posting basically saying that no one should say anything mean about the ex. It inspired me to write this letter to Kate (with an intro to Katie's ex)

Dear Katie's Ex

Believe it or not, you can't control what people write about you online. When you try to, you look like a choad...a total choad. If you want people to know your side of the story, write your own blog. Katie is very kind about you for the most part. If you think she isn't you should read about other ex-wives that had their husbands cheat on them and then divorced.

BTW: Your upcoming marriage is doomed unless you deal with your anger at Katie. I don't know if it comes from guilt about the demise of the marriage or if you're just a bitter and spiteful person, but your current relationship is going to fail if you don't deal with all the leftover emotion you have for Katie.

Dear Katie,

I'm giving you the finger...not the middle one, the index one and I'm pointing it to the nearest therapist. You and Choad-Boy are divorced. That means he doesn't get to tell you what to do about anything...including the kids. He has input/consulting rights there and *he* has control of them when they're with him...but he can't tell you to remove slightly snarky postings from your blog. That's just strange.

Sometimes, with controlling angry people, giving them what they want just makes it worse. A nice, "You know, Choad-Boy, what people write about you in cyberspace is really not under my control. " Setting appropriate boundaries is very difficult with someone who you have 3 kids with especially when he obviously has unresolved emotions about his relationship with you. Appeasement may give a short term gain but rarely works in the long run. Just ask Neville chamberlain! But to help your upcoming marriage succeed you should think about some therapy or strategies for boundary setting with him.

Most Sincerely,

Debby

Debby

Time + Anger = More Blogging

2006-07-22T11:10:00.000-07:00

Shrub strikes again.

Hezbollah should just stop their shit...so says our Illustrious Leader

http://today.reuters.com/tv/videoChannel.aspx?storyid=de5f5880401a37e1c7063acbc6cf81ce2f790ac8

for the video of Blair and Bush discussing the state of the middle east at last week's G8 summit.

Pro:

It did seem that Bush had a grasp of what was happening and why.
He gets that Kofi and the UN should be involved.
Bush also understands that Hezbollah was pushed into this by Iran to draw fire from Iran in the upcoming UN Security Council meetings
Barbara Bush must be just ready to slap the crap out of her son for his bad manners. (And I think W could use a good slap :))

Con:

Bush was talking with his mouth open
Blair sounded smarter and more statesman-like than Bush. The whole "Blair! Yo! Buddy...Wazzup?" little too fratboy for the G8 I think.
The obvious lack of geographical knowledge displayed (see the conversation with the Chinese leader) makes the whole US look ignorant of the rest of the world

The NYTimes has an article online about the event.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/17/world/middleeast/17cnd-prexy.html?_r=1&hp&ex=1153195200&en=a7e3c497aacdb9ec&ei=5094&partner=homepage&oref=slogin

There is free registration for those who are interested.

What are we coming to?

2006-07-22T11:06:00.000-07:00

http://www.rawstory.com/showoutarticle.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.reviewjournal.com%2Flvrj_home%2F2006%2FJul-20-Thu-2006%2Fnews%2F8589438.html

Let's not feed the homeless....if people are too poor to eat, screw 'em.

Would Oprah want to be my friend?

2006-07-22T06:34:00.000-07:00

I'm guessing......

NO!

I'm sure she'd find me horribly judgemental and sarcastic...the two qualities that I think many of my friends like best about me :)

I ask this question because someone read my blog and posted a comment...I went to her blog http://hoosierstudentnurse.blogspot.com/ and found someone who sounds a lot like me (into animals...CASA stuff) but thinks Oprah would like her. I like Oprah well enough....but I think she'd hate me.

One of the worst nights ever!

2006-06-24T06:53:00.000-07:00

To understand the point of this post I should put up a bit of a life update - My husband got a big promotion ....to manage a mill in a rural community. Given my dad's illness, my older son's therapies, and my natural aversion to "rural" we decided that it would be in our families best interest for us to keep our house in the urban area and buy a smaller house near the mill.

We found a 1000 sq. ft. house in "town" and bought it. That's the advantage of living within our means. This past Monday we closed on the house and moved our stuff in. And then came Tuesday night when we started living in it....oh. my. g-d.

I tried to vacuum the room where the owner's son smoked so much pot that I got a contact high while viewing the house. After 2 minutes of sucking up stems the vacuum cleaner made a popping sound, everything in the house that was electrical went off, and the cord blew off of the plug. We changed the fuse and went on.

I tried to plug in my laptop and got shocked (different outlet). The brand new microwave only had two buttons that worked; '5' and 'start'. I tried to look up Wal Mart's phone number in the phone book that we took from the hotel...and the page with Wal Mart's phone number was missing.

My husband says that the only really bad things were the vacuum cleaner blowing up and me getting shocked. Everything else was just icing...with worms in it.

Needless to say we need to update the electrical

At least the dog is safe!

2006-06-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

I found this article online and sent it to my father in law, a former veterinarian. His response was, "Don't worry, I'd never hurt Sophie!"

Court, Groups, and Spying

2006-05-31T13:52:00.000-07:00

All three are totally unrelated except they are all an irritant to me right now.

The court case against Nutjob continues. We got a summary judgment against her school and we have to wait until it closes before we go after her. Anybody interested in buying a bunch of second hand school materials?

The homeschool group I'm in has been very frustrating lately. Women+homeschooling=lunacy. People are only able to homeschool if they're willing to be more individualistic. But for women in general (yes, I know there are exceptions and many of them are my friends) even if they are individualistic in behavior, it is very hard for them to accept that others do things differently. Most women...no, I'll take that back and say people, feel that when someone does something differently that it is somehow a judgement of them or their decisions/behavior/ideas. I say I don't like a program and so I won't move a field trip that conflicts with that program (the field trip was scheduled first, dammit!) and the women who do like said program get upset and expect an apology. I don't like tuna salad either....if someone has a great recipe for it should I apologize for thinking canned tuna smells like stripper underwear. Don't ask how I know that it does :)

Spying...in light of the Bush administrations open declaration that they don't care what the law is in regards to spying on Americans domestically, the issue of spying on others has been very interesting to me lately. Spying itself has become an issue in my life even with the homeschool group. Another group that hates us (we're a bunch of elitist, leftist, god-hating heathens don't 'cha know) and tries to evesdrop on what we do. I've been thinking of it in the context of Bush's statement that even *if* it happened to be illegal to cut deals with phone companies to monitor millions of Americans, he'd do it again to protect America. When one feels that one is rightous any action is acceptable

Long time ...no update

2006-02-27T08:19:00.000-08:00

wow...finally remembered my login name :)

I was inspired to get back on the blog horse after listening to "Hello, beautiful" on Chicago's NPR station yesterday. It was interesting to listen to a bunch of non-techie professional navel gazers chat about blogging and its impact on the arts. http://www.wbez.org/programs/hb/hello_beautiful.asp is the website address. Hopefully they'll have a clip from the blogging episode soon.

Lots new here...Dad is still alive...going to court against Grace on April 18...still homeschooling. My brother in law has a book for sale on www.lulu.com The title is Shadows Over Theah. While I still haven't read it, I think all of you should :)

"New Orleans will Rebuild"

2005-09-01T13:46:00.000-07:00

And I can say this since no one reads my blog...

Why?

The city has been sinking further and further below sea level for years. The mighty Mississippi is trying to redirect itself. With the rising sea levels, eventually the area is going to look like the Everglades.

Am I suggesting that the entire area be abandoned? Not at all! But hazard mitigation is the wave of the future. After the Midwest floods of 1993, FEMA and other government officials worked very hard to direct redevelopment efforts. Many homes and communities were moved out of floodplains that had been a problem for years. So why not move ports and parishes that were totally devestated further inland ? Rebuild them where the ocean will not reclaim them in another 50 years?

Oh wait...that's long term planning and that is of no benefit to politicians currently in office. Duh!

Debby

For Jesse

2005-08-06T20:56:00.000-07:00

My friend Jesse complained that I haven’t posted in awhile. So, out of guilt to my one reader, here is an update.

I’ve discovered http://www.lulu.com/ . They publish on demand for writers who can’t get a contract with a real publisher. So, much of the stuff they have is complete crap. But some of it is kinda interesting. I am going to buy “How to Cook a Peacock” myself.

Nutjob, the principal of my son’s old school, has decided that she wants to sue me for defamation of character. My initial thought was “Don’t you have to have character for it to be defamed?” I know what I’ve said is true. She may not like the truth…but it is what it is. I’m going to write more about that in the next couple of days. My lawyer has crafted a beautiful response to it. My lawyer also told me that it doesn’t matter if what I’ve said isn’t true…as long as I believe its true, its OK. And…emotional statements are OK. So…..Grace is full of shit has become my .sig on email that doesn’t go to the homeschool group. Like I said, I’ll write more. This journey into the US legal system has been interesting if nothing else.

My dad’s lung tumor has shrunk from 10.5 cm to 4.7cm. We’re happy :)

Debby

Would you stay at the Lost Liberty Hotel?

2005-07-02T14:08:00.000-07:00

Ahh..back to eminent domain.

Not suprisingly the Supreme Court came down along ideological lines in the recent New London, CT eminent domain case.....what was suprising was which side supported big business. It was the "liberal" wing made up of Ruth Bader Ginsberg, David Souter, John Paul Stevens, Anthony Kennedy, and Stephen G. Breyer.

One of my favorite justices, Sandra Day O'Connor, wrote this in the dissenting opinion, "Any property may now be taken for the benefit of another private party, but the fallout from this decision will not be random. The beneficiaries are likely to be those citizens with disproportionate influence and power in the political " In agreement with her was Antonin Scalia. Hell must have truly frozen over for that man to make an anti-business decision.

In response to this decision, a group called Freestar Media has filed an eminent domain claim against Justice Souter's farmhouse in New Hampshire. They want to build a hotel and increase the revenue generated by that property. I love it :)

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/8406056/ has the full story. I love American initiative :)

Debby

Home Ownership in the Days of Big Business

2005-06-29T06:57:00.000-07:00

So, now that we know that the government can use eminent domain on behalf of private business...what can we do?

There are several states (Washington, California, Montana, Illinois, Kentucky, Arkansas, Maine, South Carolina and Florida) that have protections for homeowners. The state that I live in (its Indiana or Insanity I've not decided yet) decides eminent domain situations on a case-by-case basis. I imagine now that this Supreme Court case has been decided that the state courts are going to be more reluctant to side with the homeowners. I can't believe this words are passing from my Libertarian fingers but THERE SHOULD BE A LAW!

I have already written to by state representative and plan on writing to my state senator. If you don't know who to bitch to http://www.in.gov/apps/sos/legislator/search/ is a great site to let you know who to vote against. Let your legislators know that you want to own your own home and not live in it only if Wal-Mart doesn't want to build there. Also, email or phone your federal legislators. We the People have to make a fuss about this.

For a far more eloquent discussion of this matter : http://boortz.com/nuze/200506/06242005.html.

Debby

I don't own my own home

2005-06-26T14:30:00.000-07:00

Forget the outrageous Patriot Act. The other day the Supreme Court in a 5-4 decision decided that one of the two basic reasons for government, the protection of property, is no longer valid.

For those who don't know what I'm talking about.....the Supremes handed down a ruling regarding a case that started in New London, CT. A group of homeowners with waterfront property had their homes claimed through the eminent domain process. Did the city want to put in a harbor that would increase revenues? a new highway? No, private developers wanted the land to build private businesses including a hotel (and I'm sure a Starbucks was part of the plan) The government was going to seize private property from one group and give said property to private companies so they could make money. For a more complete story http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kelo_v._New_London

I was sure that the Court wouldn't allow this to happen to US citizens and their property. One of the main causes of the American Revolution was the British refusal to respect the property rights of the colonists. Feeling regarding the seizure of private property for government use was so strong that the Founding Fathers wrote the 5th Amendment. How could people who are sworn to uphold the Constitution do this?

As a further shock to the system....the 5-4 decision came down along ideological lines...and I agreed with Justices Scalia and Thomas!! It was the more liberal wing of Souter, Kennedy, Ginsberg, Beyer, and Stevens that did this. Many ideological liberals are in knee-jerk fashion blaming the traditionally pro-business conservatives for this decision. No, its the group that protects the rights of rapists, murderers, and terrorists that wants to hang poor/middle class families out to dry if a company decides to build where their homes are.

Some states do offer protections in their own state constitutions...more about them next time (and what to do if your state is not on the list!)

I am the Sandwich

2005-06-25T05:01:00.000-07:00

Goo Goo G'joob!

I'm not really the sandwich...I'm only the filling. In my first post I mentioned that I am caring for my father who has Stage IIIb or IV lung cancer. My mom died many years ago so she's not available to help my dad...I have no brothers or sisters and my dad is very distant from the surviving members of his family. I'm all he has. Add to that I have two young children, one of whom has a bad speech delay and requires therapy. I'm a little busy :)

I'm finding that people, mostly the medical or therapeutic professionals I'm dealing with at that particular moment, expect me to put their patient (my dad or my son) at the top of my priority list immediately. Often there is little or no regard for the fact that there are others who I am responsible for caring for as well. Let me share two examples with you.

Example One:

My son's kindergarten teacher...very controlling woman who did many other things to alienate my son and me through out the year...wanted to set up our last parent/teacher conference of the year. Conferences were supposed to happen on a specific Friday in May. The Monday of that week our old au pair left so I had no childcare. My dad had radiation treatment every morning at 9AM that I had to drive him to since the radiation was damaging his eyes. I was assigned the 8:30AM time slot for a meeting. I told the teacher that I would not be able to meet that day and that any time the following week would be fine. I was trying to be flexible! The teacher then told be she would be flexible too...I could come it at 8:30 or 7:30AM on the day of the conferences. We didn't have a conference and the teacher complained in the staff meeting about my priorities (I know this because a teacher that I'm friends with was there) and that my kids should come first regardless of what was happening with my dad. Let me add that our parent/teacher conferences were never particularly fruitful. She had a very rigid idea of who and what my son was that just didn't jibe with what the professionals or myself felt to be the truth. This teacher complained for over 5 minutes about what a horrible mom I was because I wouldn't sit down with her for 30 minutes (when I saw her twice a day 5 days a week) to discuss stuff that I didn't feel was all that important.

Example Two:

This week my dad was readmitted to the hospital because of excessive bleeding from the lungs. I called my dad's oncologist after going into my dad's room and seeing several bloody paper towels. The nurse there said I was supposed to take him to the hospital. This was around 10AM. My in laws were already on their way to visit the boys and I was sure they'd be happy to watch them while I took my dad in. The only problem was that they are about an hour away and that's with good traffic (And right now on the tri-state there is no such thing as good traffic). I told the nurse I'd be happy to bring him in and that I was waiting for childcare. 30 minutes later she called to ask where we were.....the hospital is 30 minutes from our house...even if we had left the instant I put down the phone we might not have made it. I told the nurse I was still waiting for the childcare to arrive. The nurse then expressed frustration because I wasn't "moving fast enough".

Me: How much of an emergency do you really think it is? Should I call an ambulance?
Nurse: Oh No NO NO! But Doctor XXXX would like to see him around noon. That means your father needs to be admitted no later than 11:15AM.
Me: I will leave as soon as my in-laws arrive to watch my children.
Nurse: When will that be?
Me: Depends on traffic. They can be here in the next 15 minutes to 45 minutes depending on traffic
Nurse: *sigh* I guess that'll be ok.

Friggin' drama queen :)

Most sandwiches complain about the time involved in caring for people at both ends of the age spectrum. My problem is less the time and more the expectations of people. Neither my dad or my boys are the first priority all the time. My job, as the family caretaker, is to evaluate and prioritize the family resources. Sometimes my dad comes first. Other times my boys come first. That is what people who have not been in that position before don't understand. It's a nice idea that everyone gets what they need at the exact moment they need it. But sometimes it just isn't going to happen.

Debby

Opening Day

2005-06-20T09:24:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I've joined in with this phenomenon. For the longest time I thought blogging was really about people who feel that others are interested in what they have to say. And now I don't think its about the blogger looking for attention as much as its the blogger's need for expression. For many years I've realized that putting words to a thought or concept has amazing power. I'm not sure what I'm hoping to get out of this.

About me...I'm 35, married, 2 kids, 1 au pair, 1 dad-in-the-basement, 3 cats, 1 dog, and a tadpole named Polie. The kids are 6 and 1 (yes, we really did want them that far apart) and the au pair from Japan is a great help. My dad lives has lived with us the past few years. Currently he is undergoing treatment for lung cancer and nasopharyngeal cancer. Chemo, radiation, and general doctor appointments take up much of my time right now.

Much of what I'll be talking about are politics and general human relations. My latest outrage is the upcoming renewal of the Patriot Act...the most unpatriotic act of Congress ever. The ACLU has some great information on this legislation http://www.aclu.org Conservatives are also concerned about many provisions. To check out their perspective go to www.checksandbalances.org

Today's music: Arabic Groove