Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Dear Katie
I like to read Katie Allison Granju's blog.
I've followed her writing for years. She's a big attachment parenting promoter and while I wouldn't call myself an AP'r, I certainly have sympathies that go that direction.
Several years ago, her and her husband divorced. He tried to get custody...messy..messy...messy. Katie has expressed some anger occasionally over her co-parenting issues but overall seems really devoted to the idea that co-parenting is best for her kids. As with any blog, there are the random bitter negative comments on Katie's blog and some her "gentle readers" make snarky comments alledging the anonymous negative comments are from Katie's ex or his new victim..I mean fiance. Evidently, Katie's ex gets really pissed off about this and asks her to remove them. It seems really controlling and strange...Especially if he's not the insulting anon comment poster. Katie wrote a posting basically saying that no one should say anything mean about the ex. It inspired me to write this letter to Kate (with an intro to Katie's ex)
Dear Katie's Ex
Believe it or not, you can't control what people write about you online. When you try to, you look like a choad...a total choad. If you want people to know your side of the story, write your own blog. Katie is very kind about you for the most part. If you think she isn't you should read about other ex-wives that had their husbands cheat on them and then divorced.
BTW: Your upcoming marriage is doomed unless you deal with your anger at Katie. I don't know if it comes from guilt about the demise of the marriage or if you're just a bitter and spiteful person, but your current relationship is going to fail if you don't deal with all the leftover emotion you have for Katie.
Dear Katie,
I'm giving you the finger...not the middle one, the index one and I'm pointing it to the nearest therapist. You and Choad-Boy are divorced. That means he doesn't get to tell you what to do about anything...including the kids. He has input/consulting rights there and *he* has control of them when they're with him...but he can't tell you to remove slightly snarky postings from your blog. That's just strange.
Sometimes, with controlling angry people, giving them what they want just makes it worse. A nice, "You know, Choad-Boy, what people write about you in cyberspace is really not under my control. " Setting appropriate boundaries is very difficult with someone who you have 3 kids with especially when he obviously has unresolved emotions about his relationship with you. Appeasement may give a short term gain but rarely works in the long run. Just ask Neville chamberlain! But to help your upcoming marriage succeed you should think about some therapy or strategies for boundary setting with him.
Most Sincerely,
Debby
Debby
I've followed her writing for years. She's a big attachment parenting promoter and while I wouldn't call myself an AP'r, I certainly have sympathies that go that direction.
Several years ago, her and her husband divorced. He tried to get custody...messy..messy...messy. Katie has expressed some anger occasionally over her co-parenting issues but overall seems really devoted to the idea that co-parenting is best for her kids. As with any blog, there are the random bitter negative comments on Katie's blog and some her "gentle readers" make snarky comments alledging the anonymous negative comments are from Katie's ex or his new victim..I mean fiance. Evidently, Katie's ex gets really pissed off about this and asks her to remove them. It seems really controlling and strange...Especially if he's not the insulting anon comment poster. Katie wrote a posting basically saying that no one should say anything mean about the ex. It inspired me to write this letter to Kate (with an intro to Katie's ex)
Dear Katie's Ex
Believe it or not, you can't control what people write about you online. When you try to, you look like a choad...a total choad. If you want people to know your side of the story, write your own blog. Katie is very kind about you for the most part. If you think she isn't you should read about other ex-wives that had their husbands cheat on them and then divorced.
BTW: Your upcoming marriage is doomed unless you deal with your anger at Katie. I don't know if it comes from guilt about the demise of the marriage or if you're just a bitter and spiteful person, but your current relationship is going to fail if you don't deal with all the leftover emotion you have for Katie.
Dear Katie,
I'm giving you the finger...not the middle one, the index one and I'm pointing it to the nearest therapist. You and Choad-Boy are divorced. That means he doesn't get to tell you what to do about anything...including the kids. He has input/consulting rights there and *he* has control of them when they're with him...but he can't tell you to remove slightly snarky postings from your blog. That's just strange.
Sometimes, with controlling angry people, giving them what they want just makes it worse. A nice, "You know, Choad-Boy, what people write about you in cyberspace is really not under my control. " Setting appropriate boundaries is very difficult with someone who you have 3 kids with especially when he obviously has unresolved emotions about his relationship with you. Appeasement may give a short term gain but rarely works in the long run. Just ask Neville chamberlain! But to help your upcoming marriage succeed you should think about some therapy or strategies for boundary setting with him.
Most Sincerely,
Debby
Debby
