Thursday, September 13, 2007
Christian Homeschoolers....Scare Me!
As a homeschooler, I've met my share of right wing Christian nutjobs.
This is an excerpt from a conversation I had yesterday.
Me: I'm thinking of signing up my son for the yoga class
RWCFN (Right wing Christian Fundy Nutjob):"Oh, I pulled my daughter out of the kids yoga class because they did Satanic things"
Me: (Getting really excited about a Satanic yoga class) Really? Are they sacrificing animals or something?
RWCFN: The teacher had the kids count backwards from 6 and then relax.
Me:(Shoulders slumped in dissapointment) Oh. What's Satanic about counting backwards? Can you hear Paul saying "Kill John" or something? (OK, they really say 'Paul is dead' but mine was funnier)
RWCFN: (bewildered look because she's too young to remember vinyl) No. It's self-hypnosis. That's how Satan can possess you.
Me: (Thinking she's a loon) Riiiight. Better go catch Josh.
Intellectually I accept that the majority of people who homeschool in the US are doing it for religious/moral reasons. It's when I run into them that I start thinking state control might be a good thing. The fact is that this woman is going to teach her children substandard truths that have the potential to cripple them as adults if the US doesn't slide into a full fledged theocracy.
So, what's the alternative? Sending her kids to the local private Christian madrassa? And yes, I do think those schools are on the same level as the hate factories in Pakistan. They aren't any better just because they teach Jesus and not Allah.
So, Ben's getting signed up for the Satanic Yoga Class...wish I could take one too.
This is an excerpt from a conversation I had yesterday.
Me: I'm thinking of signing up my son for the yoga class
RWCFN (Right wing Christian Fundy Nutjob):"Oh, I pulled my daughter out of the kids yoga class because they did Satanic things"
Me: (Getting really excited about a Satanic yoga class) Really? Are they sacrificing animals or something?
RWCFN: The teacher had the kids count backwards from 6 and then relax.
Me:(Shoulders slumped in dissapointment) Oh. What's Satanic about counting backwards? Can you hear Paul saying "Kill John" or something? (OK, they really say 'Paul is dead' but mine was funnier)
RWCFN: (bewildered look because she's too young to remember vinyl) No. It's self-hypnosis. That's how Satan can possess you.
Me: (Thinking she's a loon) Riiiight. Better go catch Josh.
Intellectually I accept that the majority of people who homeschool in the US are doing it for religious/moral reasons. It's when I run into them that I start thinking state control might be a good thing. The fact is that this woman is going to teach her children substandard truths that have the potential to cripple them as adults if the US doesn't slide into a full fledged theocracy.
So, what's the alternative? Sending her kids to the local private Christian madrassa? And yes, I do think those schools are on the same level as the hate factories in Pakistan. They aren't any better just because they teach Jesus and not Allah.
So, Ben's getting signed up for the Satanic Yoga Class...wish I could take one too.
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Find consolation in the fact that (THANK GOD!!) we're all not fundy nutjobs. Granted, homeschoolers do tend to have the largest conglomeration of them, but the tide is turning (slowly ... very slowly ... at about the pace of the earth's rotation!).
I'm a Christ follower, and a minister's wife, and even I find it hard to stomach some of these people. Granted, I have a nose stud, so in their eyes I have the mark of the beast or something.
I wonder, sometimes, if they'll show up in Heaven and God will look at them and say, "Seriously? Can't you just lighten up??"
I'm a Christ follower, and a minister's wife, and even I find it hard to stomach some of these people. Granted, I have a nose stud, so in their eyes I have the mark of the beast or something.
I wonder, sometimes, if they'll show up in Heaven and God will look at them and say, "Seriously? Can't you just lighten up??"
Thanks for the laugh! (several of them, in fact)
--Deborah Markus, Editor
Secular Homeschooling Magazine
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--Deborah Markus, Editor
Secular Homeschooling Magazine
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